When Did Everyone Get So Busy?

“Are you free this weekend?”

“No, but maybe the 24th?”

It’s the 6th.

Cool.

Apparently I’ll see you in three weeks.

WHEN DID HANGING OUT REQUIRE THIS MUCH ADMIN?

Somewhere along the way, seeing your friends became an appointment.

Let me check my calendar.

I work late Tuesday.

She has dinner Thursday.

You’re gone this weekend.

I’m gone next weekend.

Okay, what about Sunday the 27th around 2?

Perfect.

Now don’t get sick.

When we were younger, friendship happened in the empty space.

After school.

On somebody’s couch.

Driving around because there was literally nothing else to do.

Nobody needed an activity.

Nobody needed a reservation.

Sometimes nobody even needed a plan.

You just ended up together.

Now the empty space is gone.

EVERYONE ACTUALLY IS BUSY

That’s the annoying part.

Nobody is necessarily lying.

There’s work.

Relationships.

Family.

Errands.

Appointments.

The gym.

Laundry.

The friend you already promised you’d see.

The one night you desperately want to stay home and speak to

absolutely nobody.

Adult life has a shocking amount of maintenance.

And suddenly friendship is competing with all of it.

Not because we care about each other less.

Because seeing someone now requires finding a hole in two completely

separate lives.

I MISS THE RANDOM TUESDAY

Not the birthday dinner.

Not the trip we’ve been planning for four months.

Not the reservation.

Just Tuesday.

Come over.

I’m making pasta.

I’m running to Target, come with me.

Sit on my bed while I get ready.

Want to drive around?

There was something intimate about wasting time together.

Now when we finally see each other, we have so much to catch up on

that friendship can start feeling like exchanging quarterly reports.

Work?

Relationship?

Family?

Okay, my turn.

Three hours later:

“I can’t believe we waited this long. We need to do this more.”

We will say this again in six weeks.

MAYBE WE NEED TO STOP WAITING UNTIL WE’RE FREE

Because apparently none of us are going to be.

Maybe friendship in adulthood has to happen inside the life that’s

already happening.

Come grocery shopping with me.

Bring your laptop over and we’ll both work.

Walk with me while I call my mom.

Come over even though my apartment is a mess.

You don’t need to stay long.

I don’t need to entertain you.

Maybe we don’t need more plans.

Maybe we need to get comfortable wasting each other’s time again.

So text the friend you’ve been meaning to see.

Don’t ask when they’re free next month.

Ask what they’re doing tonight.